How To Save a Life
by Pineh
Summary: When William comes back, things are not always a happy ending. And for William, it's just that. Comments are very much appreciated. Slight WxY Songfic based on How To Save a Life by the Fray


**This is a story I wrote a long time ago under a different name. I swear this is mine, but please enjoy. It's long, but I hope I captured the emotion you really want in the song fiction in here. Please enjoy and comment. 3**

xx

The lunch table was particularly quiet that spring afternoon

I remember it fondly, though my memories are tinted down to a sepia, like you see in the old movies. The sun was beating down on the trees, and the occasional rustle of wind against the newly found leaves. The teens in the area seemed to be enjoying the new spring air. I wasn't.

Aelita and Jeremy were murmuring something quietly to each other, while Odd was playing his video game. Ulrich looked like he was half asleep; with his arm curled around his nose, and that only left me and William. His shaggy, matted jet black hair was thrown around messily over head. It looked like he hadn't washed it in weeks. I kept shooting him a worried glance. His chin was resting on his wrist, eyes slunk dully. Not even a glimmer of the old William. Everyone ignored him. Ever since we got rid of Xana, everyone treated him like trash.

I put my head down, a miserable feeling in my stomach. I felt so depressed. It seemed I was the only person who actually cared about him. Well I didn't _love _him. I just like him as a friend and nothing more… right? But I was concerned. If you think I'm depressed you should see him. Even the gang didn't treat him that great. After Xana took over his body they didn't trust him with anything. Even though Xana isn't around anymore, everyone seems to think that he's going to pop up and strangle them all. I'm surprised they even let him sit at our lunch table.

A familiar bell rang and everyone started scrambling out of the cafeteria. Today was Saturday and classes just ended. I had nothing to do for the rest of the day, unless you want be to go home and talk to my parents. Not a chance.

Like the usual, I picked up my bag and started heading for the door with Jeremy, Aelita, Ulrich and Odd. Then I realized William was still sitting motionlessly back at the table.

"Uh, guys I'll catch up." I said with a slight smile. The gang narrowed their eyes curiously at me, but didn't make a fuss as they herded out of the room. After I heard their footsteps fade I carefully sat back down at the table and faced William. His head was tucked into his arms, and as I made contact with him his face shot down into the crook of his elbow.

"I think we should talk." I said sweetly and he looked up again and made a small groaning sound. All of a sudden, I feel like I don't know him anymore.

_Step one; you say we need to talk_

His dark eyes were unfriendly and merciless as he returned my cold glare. He started to scramble up and I hissed, "Just stay."

_He walks; you say sit down it's just a talk._

William quietly sighed and then sat back down. To my amazement, we stared right into my eyes. He also gave a not-so-reassuring smile and I glanced with my icy eyes at him. I knew he didn't mean that fake smile of his.

_He stares politely back at you,_

_You stare politely right one through._

"So what do you want?" said his ragged voice. I almost started laughing.

"You know very well why I'm talking to you." I tried not to sneer but I was hard not too. Shuffling my feet embarrassedly, I calmed myself down. "Why are you so upset?"

A very strong sneer rose in William's voice, "Take a look around! No one likes me!" I didn't expect him to outburst like that. His voice was deeper, with a tainted bit of malice. I hadn't heard him talk that loud in since before Xana took control over him.

I felt tears well in my eyes as I resisted the urge to bite back and say something.

"I'm not like you and your friends anymore!" He mused loudly. I was surprised the lunch lady wasn't yelling at us.

"But I want to help you..." I tried to say, but his harsh tone cut me off.

"You don't have to act like you care. I can be depressed all I want! You just shut up and live your life." He growled a lot quieter now, turning his head.

_Some sort of window to your right_

_As he goes left and you stay right_

"Well I'm not like everyone else..." I mentioned quietly. I, the one person he once loved he didn't even trust me anymore.

"Yes, you might care a bit more than your _friends._" He said snidely. "And everyone else in this damn school." His voice was overpowering and lethal, and I couldn't say the words I wanted it say.

"But..." I murmured weakly but he shook his head.

"You don't get it Yumi." William spat and picked his bag up and stalked away out of the lunch room.

_Between the lines, of fear and pain_

_You begin to wonder why you came_

I sat there for another few minutes stunned at all the emotion and rage William was giving off. What happened to the nice crazy boy who tried to hit on me all the time?

That William was dead.

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend._

_Somewhere along in the bitterness._

I stood up and stretched my shaky bones. I wanted to help William. It wasn't his fault that Xana took his body.

My eyes were dark as I reached the door of the lunchroom. I looked up at the cloudless sky. It was such a beautiful day; I didn't know how William could be so depressed.

Then the memories hit me like a gunshot. How much I think of him, I really couldn't bear to see him this way. So to get out of the abyss of my playful memories, I ran back to her dorm as fast as my legs could take me. I really wanted to help him, and I just couldn't.

_And I would have stayed up with you all night,_

_Had I known how to save a life._

---

After an hour of sitting in my room and thinking I decided maybe I could ask the guys how I should handle this. After all, he was still part of our group. Saving the world together all the time can have its benefits.

Cracking my door open slightly, I poked my head out and started walking downstairs.

--

"Your nuts for that boy aren't you?" Odd smiled as a joke ran through his lips. I wanted to punch him in the face for that. We were all outside beside the dorm entrence.

"Shut up." I gave him a warning stare. Odd backed away, eyes leaving playfulness behind.

"Yumi, he's not been nice to us either." Ulrich mentioned flatly.

"Yes, 'cause you guys treat him badly. He doesn't know what to think anymore!" My warning level was getting higher. No one was listening to me.

_Let him know that you know best, 'cause after all you do know best._

Aelita was lagged out of the conversation here. I knew she cared about William, but she just didn't trust him, after trying to throw her in the digital sea so many times. Out of everyone, I can see the most why she would ignore him.

I fought with the boys many more minutes feeling worse and worse for William. They're all bashing him, for what he really isn't. They just don't trust him... if it wasn't for that Xana…

"Yumi."

A small but stern voice came out behind me. My heart always gave way hearing the voice, William's voice. I sped around quickly to see his eyes in an overpowering stare at everyone behind me.

"Hi..." I said weakly. I almost face palmed myself for being so stupid. William's glare traveled around then he stepped up.

"You guys hate me, I know it, so don't hide it." He grumbled. Surprisingly, his eyes were even but lifeless.

"We don't hate you..." Jeremy countered, "We just uh..." his voice was lost.

"We can't get ourselves to trust you again." Aelita answered, trying to act strong. William only stared.

"It wasn't my freaking fault that Xana attacked me!" He spat, taking another step forward.

"Yes, but if you weren't goofing around Xana would have never caught you in the first place." Ulrich pointed out. William's eyes narrowed.

"Yumi what do you think?" He asked politely. I felt a knot knit in my stomach.

_Try to slip past his defense_

_Without granting innocence._

I cleared my throat, "Well, you _did _let yourself be captured." I pointed out in a very small voice. William looked like all of hell was going to break lose from him.

_Lay down a list of what is wrong_

_Things you told him all along_

"Just shut up Yumi. You don't know." His face looked when he was possessed. William stormed back the way he came, into the field dormitories.

"_All I wanted to do is help him. I just made it worse!" _My mind screamed in frustration.

"Hey Yumi it-"Ulrich started to say but my thoughts exploded at him.

"No! Shut the up, all of you!" I shrieked. "You don't know how you guys are treating William! He has feelings! The whole damn school is against him! His parents think weirdly of him and you guys aren't helping! We're the only freaking real friends the boy has ever had and you decide to bash him. Nice one guys." I hissed my last words deviously and stormed into the woods, not caring what everyone else though.

_"I'm sorry William. _I mentally pleaded.

_And pray to God he hears you._

_And pray to God he hears you._

--

Behind the shadows of the broken old tool shed I was sitting in the tall grass with my spirit pinned be side me. I hate how all the kids laughed at him. Now he hated me. And I was only trying to help. I hate myself.

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend._

_Somewhere along in the bitterness._

I thought about going to apologize to William but I knew I was just going to get yelled again once again. I quietly wailed out in frustration but I knew I couldn't do anything. I just wanted to be friends will William again. I just wanted things back the way they used to be. I wanted him to be happy.

I punched the cool grass hard, feeling the small blades cower in between my fingers. Every little sentence or thought about William buzzed in my head. I could understand his pain, but he wouldn't accept guidance.

_And I would have stayed up with you all night,_

_Had I known how to save a life._

After tearing up some more of the grass I stood up shakily. It had gotten pretty late again. I should be getting home. First, whether he liked it or not, I was going to apologize to him no matter what.

As I walked into the crossroads clearing, luck seemed to be on my side; William was hanging around on a bench. And of course, no one was around. I wandered up to him and I thought I saw him cringe for a second but then turned around with, surprisingly, welcoming eyes.

"Um, hi William." I said causally, trying to hide my nervousness.

"Hi Yumi." He mumbled but he stood up. For a second I thought he was going to walk away but he turned to face me with a smile.

"I-I'm sorry." I let out. I could feel my cheeks getting hot, and William looked at me with charming eyes; I looked into the pools of brown.

"It's okay Yumi; I should say I'm sorry too." He answered sweetly, and too my great surprise again, he hugged me. I actually felt better with his arms around me. We're going to be friends again…and I have no idea what changed his mind.

"Yumi, I want you to always remember me." He mumbled quietly. His eyes were flickering into an imaginary world. I searched his face in curiosity but found stillness.

"Okay..." I solemnly nodded, face burying into his shirt. He ruffled my hair and I'm pretty sure my checks became a rose.

"I wish everyone would stop bashing you..." I murmured angrily. My hand started clenching into a fist and my knuckles cracked.

"I wish so too..." He muttered with a slight edge in his tone, "My parents think I'm a bit mental now..." He hissed to no one particular.

"I wish it was better for you." I said and broke away from him with my face a bright red. He smiled again and let me go.

"You should get home." William answered. I nodded.

"Uh, I'll see you tomorrow." I laughed at our little hallmark moment. I started to walk away and heard him say, "Farwell." My heart thumped for a moment, and then it settled back down. I had no idea what happened as I quickened my pace down the dirt road of the forest.

--

The night was particularly cool that night and the wind was stirring on the roof of Kadic. If it wasn't for one hazy cloud lingering in the starry sky it would be a perfect night with the full moon in the sky. William looked forward.

All his life he had never thought what would happen in the end. After his encounter with Xana he thought he was going to die. But that never happened. Instead he was manipulated over his own will to fight against his friends. Then afterwards he would come back and _no one, _not even his parents would trust him. Such an agonizing pain was cut too deep inside of him a he couldn't take it anymore. William stepped forward.

_How to save a life_

His sightless eyes stood straight. It was truly a beautiful world; maybe on the outside at least. He had learned the inside of the world was a horrid wasteland filled with thoughts of hell and pain. In fourteen years he had enough. William could feel the weightless air in front of him. The welcoming night engulfed his shaking body as wind caught him into the world of darkness.

_How to save a life_

_--_

At around 6am my hair was brushed cleanly and I was ready to get to school early so I could talk with the guys about William.

After saying goodbye to my parents I stepped outside. The air was damp and heavy. Fog lay on the road like a blanket, although I could start to see peaks of cerulean blue light poking above my head.

Crossing the road carefully I started walking into the depths of the forest in the school grounds. A dew was painted along the leaves and some drooping wildflowers. This was my favorite time of day, I was all alone and had time to sense the morning. But as I got closer and closer to the school a strange feeling bubbled up in my stomach. I clutched it and wondered. The pain seemed to edge every part of my body into alert, like my instincts were pricked for attack. I muttered some swear words and continued to walk forward.

The opening of the trees to the school was before me, but something held me back. A force restrained my arms and legs for a moment and I wanted to go running back home.

_"What the heck is this happening?" _I murmured to myself as I sawed free from imaginary ropes and restraints and continued to walk forward with a dreadful presence around me.

I felt like something was after me. Almost like what I would feel if Xana attacked.

No one was usually around at 6:30am in the morning except some early morning lights in the dorm windows above my head. Small shades of pale yellow crept its way through the curtains leaving an eerie light along the gray and black pavement. Then something hit me.

There was a black muffled color along one side of the pavement. I narrowed my eyes and looked at it closer. It almost looked like a hug garbage bag. I walked a few more steps closer. My heart almost doubled into two hearts beating at a mile pace. I stared in horror as I realized what I was looking at. My legs felt weak, but somehow I was running. Tearful and running.

"No..." I softly cried to myself. My knees had knelt down already, and before me was a bruised, unnatural looking bent body. The body that had once occupied a boy that I call one of my best friends. A boy who loved me very much and wanted me to love him. A boy who would make tough comments and not mean it all. It was the body of William Dunbar.

Every sentence I mouthed out was a mixture of swears and an agonizing wail which made my voice crack. My eyes burned as fresh tears rolled down my face and sank into the fabric of his lifeless body.

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend?_

William's eyes were closed but his body was tangled into a mess. His arms and legs were flopped around in horrible angles and positions. There was some dry, dark red blood dripping down his mouth, and little bits of stains on his black shirt. His shaggy hair covered his eyes in a defensive position.

In my sobs of utter wailing my mind stirred into something; my lips caught a snarl in them and my eyes broke open blinded by rage.

_"Everyone did this! If it wasn't for them William would be here!" _My thoughts screamed with pain and all I could help was furious howls and sobs.

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

Twisting agony batted at my inside, silently destroying all my good thoughts. I was truly blind to the world. I had no idea. I just wanted William—my friend back.

One by one, my sobs started drawing out some people from their dorms. I knew eyes where peering down at my face, then running down the stairs, to see what I was leaning over. The world was falling around me.

Maybe…just maybe I could have saved him if I had tried harder. It was too late now.

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

More sun started yielding through the clouds and like dapples covered the ground. At this point I heard crying of other kids, gasps of some, and wails of others. I doubt they had ever seen this happen before. The whole school was devastated.

_How to save a life_

Just then I felt a soft pressure on my back. I could hear little sniffs and cry coming from it. As I looked up with my red and puffy eyes I could see Jeremy, Aelita, Odd all dressed in their pajamas and opening their arms to comfort me. Pressing into their warmth, I slowing let out small sobs.

--

The next few days came and went. William had committed suicide by jumping off the school roof. The funeral was today. And I can't believe everyone talked me into going.

My mind was whizzing with painful and happy memories. For some reason, I couldn't cry anymore. My body had accepted what had happened. I know why William had done it. And I really didn't blame him. All the painful memories were a burden, but William…I have a feeling that he's happy.

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend?_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness._

Once the funeral was over, the organ creaked and we all started to scuffle up. But then the pastor leveled his hand down. I felt a sickly feeling in my stomach.

"Excuse me, but Mr. and Mrs. Dunbar would like to speak." He motioned with his hand and the couple stood up willingly and watched the audience carefully. Everyone else peered up on the high statue, leaning over his flower covered coffin.

"My dear friends and family," William's mom announced quietly. We all stood on the edge of our seats. I could tell her eyes were puffy as anyone else's.

"William had some tough struggles in his teen years, but he managed to get through all of one. That reason is why we are sitting here in sorrow today."

Hot water formed in my eyes put my hand defensively wiped it away quickly. My hair dragged down my face as I looked back up.

"I admit I did some wrong, to that boy. But I was just trying to help him..." He voice cracked and a sniffle broke the silence. Then her eyes narrowed once again and looked up stronger.

"In all his times of good and pain, there was one person that he couldn't stop talking about, one person that made him happy."

Murmurs echoed around the room. The gang all exchanged nervous glances.

"That person is sitting out in the row of chairs right now." Mrs. Dunbar smiled unevenly, her gaze raced to me and it seemed the whole world was blankly staring at me. "That girl is Yumi Ishiyama."

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

My heart gave a wail. I wasn't sure if this feeling was good or horrible. All I know is at this moment, I felt complete. I didn't feel sad. I was happy that I felt I made a difference in someone's life.

_"William actually cared." _I thought it realization. He did love me. He just cared…

"Yumi, thank you." Both parents said smoothly into the microphone with a hard focus of interest. And I could only smile with clapping rang through my ears. Then I knew, the old William had died, but a new meaning of him had bloomed up like a flower inside of me. He wasn't dead anymore. And all I had hoped and yearned for were carrying onto me; as warmth buried inside of me.

I couldn't save a life.

But I did learn how to care about one.

_[i]How to save a life.[/i]_

**--**


End file.
